Advice for wives!!!

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
“Take my advice,” said the neighbor, “and do what I did.
Once, my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: ‘Is that you, Emeka?’
And that cured him.”
“That cured him?” asked the woman, incredulous.
“But how?” The neighbor said, “You see, his name is Olu.”

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Have you ever seen anyone with a Second Appendix???

A man phoned his doctor very late at night saying his wife appeared to have Appendicitis.

“That’s impossible,” the physician replied, peeved at being woken up after midnight. “She had an appendectomy last year. Don’t be stupid. Only a moron like you would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?”

“No, you are the moron!” the husband replied. “Haven’t you ever seen anybody with a second wife?”
– SantaBanta

One more tooth to go!!!

Lara fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours.

But one day he said sadly, “Lara, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband’s bound to get suspicious.”

“No way, sweetie, he’s dumb as a post,” she assured him. “Besides, we’ve been meeting here for six months now and he doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“True,” agreed the dentist, “but you’re down to one tooth!”
– SantaBanta

Women have the right to work wherever they want….!!!

“Women have the right to work wherever they want,
as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home.”
– John Wayne
Does this still apply in today’s world of women’s right and women’s liberation?
I am almost sure that if John Wayne had made this statement to day he would have been taken to the cleaners by women’s right advocate.
Be that as it may I doubt if I agree with the statement as it means being very stereo typical about the role of the woman in the home.
It’s more chauvinist than anything else.
Doesn’t recognise the all encompassing role played by the women folk.
In today’s world the role of the mother and woman has gone beyond just the kitchen.
Many homes couldn’t possibly run without the multi tasking contribution of the woman of the house.
They have become more like partners, wife, friend, cook, driver, adviser, provider, strategist in the home.
At least that’s how it is in my own home. What could I possibly do without my wife?
So this quote is below the belt for the women folk.
How can a woman just be for cooking our meals? Indeed not.
I conclude by quoting the Igbo proverb that says “the child that has the means must see to the burial of the father as the first son is not guilty of his death”.
I rest my case.

The fax!!!

A man was talking to his father.
“Dad, I was away on business for a week.
Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife saying that I’d be home that night, and when I got into our room I found my wife in another man’s arms.
Why, dad? Tell me why!” Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe she didn’t get the fax, son.”

wine does a lot of things, like make people look beautiful, charming, and attractive!!!

A husband and wife were sitting by the candlelight having dinner in a luxury restaurant.
The husband said, “I’ve been noticing..
.wine does a lot of things,
like make people look beautiful, charming, and attractive.”
The wife replied,
“But dear, I haven’t been drinking that much.” “I know, but I have been.”
– Source unknown

My Wife DOES NOT WORK!!! Really?

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn’t work. She’s a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn’t work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn’t work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn’t work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?
H : Take rest, because i’m tired due to all day works.

P : What does your wife do then?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called ‘DOESN’T WORK’??!!

Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

All about a WOMAN ….
* When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

* When she stares at you, she is wondering why she loves you so much in spite of being taken for granted.

* When she says I will stand by you, she will stand by you like a rock.

Never hurt her or take her wrong or for granted…

Forward to every woman to make her smile and to every man to make him realize a woman’s worth…!!!
Author – Unknown

Posted by Damian

Enough is Enough!!!

An old lady tottered into a lawyer’s office and asked for help in arranging a divorce.

“A divorce?” asked the unbelieving lawyer. “Tell me, how old are you?”

“I’m eighty-four,” answered the old lady.

“Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?”

“My husband is eighty-seven.”

“My my,” said the lawyer.” And how long have you been married?”

“Next September will be sixty-two years.”

“Married sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?”

“Because,” the woman answered calmly, “enough is enough!”
– SantaBanta

Posted by Damian