Why I Quit Golfing!!!

A page from husband’s diary…

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into garage & proceeded to back out into…. a torrential rain ! Wind was blowing at 50 mph.

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio & discovered that the weather would be bad through out the day.

Disappointed I went back into the house,quietly undressed, and sneaked back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife’s back& whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

My beautiful and loving wife replied, “I know… and can you believe my stupid husband is out there playing golf in that terrible weather !”

I still don’t know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped playing golf.
– SantaBanta

Posted by Damian@8wdee.com

Golfing Lessons!!!

The new golfer asked the pro, “How much for a golf lesson?”

“They’re 13 lessons for $150 or a single lesson for $1,000.”

“Why do you charge $1,000 for a single lesson yet offer a series for only $150?!”

“If you expect to learn golf in one lesson, you’re expecting a miracle. And if you’re expecting a miracle, you should expect to pay for one.”
– SantaBanta

Posted by Damian @8WDee.com.

Ex-Wife!!!

George decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, George and his new wife was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.

After along period of silence she finally speaks, “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married I think it’s time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your clubs and golf cart.”

George gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, “Darling, what’s wrong”?

George says, “There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

“Ex wife” she screams! “I didn’t know you were married before!!!”

George retorts, “I wasn’t…”

SantaBanta

Posted by Damian @8WDee.com.

The Genie!!!

Golf
A couple was golfing one day on a very , very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses .
On the third tee , the husband said : “Honey , be very careful when you drive the ball . Don’t knock out any windows. It’ll cost us a fortune to fix” .
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course ..
The husband cringed and said : “I told you to watch out for the houses . All right , let’s go up there , apologize , and see how much this is going to cost ” ..
They walked up and knocked on the door . A voice said : “Come on in” . They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer ..
A man on the couch said : “Are you the people who broke my window ?”
“Uh , yeah . Sorry about that ,” the husband replied .
“No , actually , I want to thank you . I’m a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle . You’ve released me . I’m allowed to grant three wishes — I’ll give you each one wish , and I’ll keep the last one for myself” .
“Okay , great ! ” the husband said . “I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life” ..
“No problem — it’s the least I could do . And you , what do you want ?” the genie said , looking at the wife .
“I want a house in every country of the world ,” she said .
“Consider it done ,” the genie replied .
“And what’s your wish , genie ?”, the husband said .
“Well , since I’ve been trapped in that bottle , I haven’t had sex with a woman in a thousand years .. My wish is to sleep with your wife” .
The husband looked at the wife and said : “Well , we did get a lot of money and all those houses , honey .     I guess I don’t care” .
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours .
   After it was over , the genie rolled over , looked at the wife , and said : “How old is your husband , anyway ?”
“Thirty-five ,” she replied .
“And he still believes in genies ? … That’s amazing” .