Lawyers don’t lie! Really?

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move, as his rental agreement was coming to an end forthe home where he lived, but was having difficulty in finding a new home.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home. He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.

So, he had an idea – he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the real estate agent.

He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, “How many children do you have ?”

He answered, “12 children.”

The agent asked, “And where are they now?”

The lawyer answered, with a sad look, “11 of them are in the cemetery with their mother.”

And that is the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.

Moral: it is not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words. Lawyers don’t lie… They are great!!!

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My Wife DOES NOT WORK!!! Really?

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn’t work. She’s a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn’t work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn’t work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn’t work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?
H : Take rest, because i’m tired due to all day works.

P : What does your wife do then?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called ‘DOESN’T WORK’??!!

Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.

All about a WOMAN ….
* When she is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

* When she stares at you, she is wondering why she loves you so much in spite of being taken for granted.

* When she says I will stand by you, she will stand by you like a rock.

Never hurt her or take her wrong or for granted…

Forward to every woman to make her smile and to every man to make him realize a woman’s worth…!!!
Author – Unknown

Posted by Damian

Life has no limitations, except the ones you make!!!

Because none of us have many years to live, and we can’t take along anything when we go, so we don’t have to be too thrifty…

Spend the money that should be spent, enjoy what should be
enjoyed, donate what you are able to donate, but don’t leave all to your children or grandchildren, for you don’t want them to become parasites who are waiting for the day you will die!!

Don’t worry about what will happen after we are gone, because when we return to dust, we will feel nothing about praises or criticisms. The time to enjoythe worldly life and your hard earned wealth will be over!

Don’t worry too much about your children, for children will have their own destiny and should find their own way. Don’t be your children’s slave. Care for them, love them, give them gifts but also enjoy your money while you can. Life should have more to it than working from the cradle to the grave!!

Don’t expect too much from your children. Caring children, though
caring, would be too busy with their jobs and commitments to render much

Uncaring children may fight over your assets even when you are still alive, and wish for your early demise so they can inherit your properties and wealth.

Your children take for granted that they are rightful heirs to your wealth; but that you have no claims to their money.

50-year old like you, don’t trade in your health for wealth by working
yourself to an early grave anymore… Because your money may not be able to buy your health…

When to stop making money, and how much is enough (hundred thousands, million, ten million)?

Out of thousand hectares of good farm land, you can consume only three quarts (of rice) daily; out of a thousand mansions, you only need eight square meters of space to rest at night.

So, as long as you have enough food and enough money to spend, that is good enough. You should live happily. Every family has its own problems.
Just donot compare with others for fame and social status and see whose children are doing better, etc., but challenge others for happiness, health,enjoyment, quality of life and longevity…

Don’t worry about things that you can’t change because it doesn’t
help and it may spoil your health.

You have to create your own well-being and find your own place of
happiness.As long as you are in good mood and good health, think about happy things,do happy things daily and have fun in doing, then you will pass your timehappily every day.

One day passes without happiness, you will lose one day.
One day passes with happiness, and then you gain one day.

In good spirit, sickness will cure; in a happy spirit, sickness will cure
faster; in high and happy spirits; sickness will never come.

With good mood, suitable amount of exercise, always in the sun, variety of foods, reasonable amount of vitamin and mineral intake, hopefully you will live another 20 or 30 years of healthy life of pleasure.

Above all, learn to cherish the goodness around… and FRIENDS… They all make you feel young and “wanted”… without them you are surely to feel lost!!

Wishing you all the best.

Please share this with all your friends who are 50 plus
and those who will be 50 plus after some time.

Courtesy – Admiral Chin Naidu

No One Slept with Mom

Ever notice how a 4-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults ?

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children and explained that it was OK to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don’t sleep with Mom that night.

They said OK.

After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane’s arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, “Hi, Dad! I’ve got some good news!”

As I waved back, I said loudly, “What’s the good news?”

Alex shouted, “Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!”

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
– SantaBanta

Posted by Damian

“One day I’ll look up from my phone / computer / tablet and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.”

I just read a “one liner” that stated, “One day I’ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.”  I’m thinking the same thing can be stated another way, “one day I’ll look up from my phone (or computer/tablet) and realize my spouse has left me mentally and/or physically.”

 That thought leads us to one of our pet-peeves. It seems everywhere we go, people are either talking or texting on their phones. It’s as if people can’t be PRESENT where they are.

 This is particularly problematic when we see this in public where a husband and wife (and sometimes children) are out together (at a restaurant or somewhere) and one, or more, or all are on their electronic devices having some type of “conversation” with someone else. We want to yell out, “Be present with the one(s) you’re with –do that later when you’re alone.”

 The problem is, “We are tempted to think that our little ‘sips’ of online connection add up to a big gulp of real conversation. But they don’t. E-mail, Facebook, Twitter, all of these have their places –in politics, commerce, romance, and friendship. But no matter how valuable, they do not substitute for conversation. The drift from conversation to connectivity –from ‘talking to texting’ –should be a concern for any married couple and any parent. Other technologies –particularly television –have distracted us from conversation for many, many years, but recent advances give us the option to replace it. How can you develop and maintain a strong relationship with your spouse or anyone else in your family if you aren’t talking to each other?” (Dave Boehi)

 As the Bible says, “there is a time for everything under heaven.” That includes being occupied on our digital devices, even when they invade the time we should be spending with our spouse, with focused attention.

 Now, we understand that sometimes a phone call or a text comes in where you need to tend to it because it’s an emergency or it’s from someone you’ve been trying to get a hold of for a while and you need to take advantage of the connection. But that should be more of the exception, rather than the norm, if it is interrupting time you should be focused on your spouse.

 If we don’t make our marriage relationship a priority where we show we’re present with our spouse physically, mentally, and emotionally, some day we may find our spouse will no longer be interested in being with US physically, mentally, emotionally, or in any way.

 We didn’t marry one another to ignore each other –to make everything and everyone else more important than our spouse. So why is it okay to be rude and ignore the person we vowed to “love, honor and cherish,” and put them off time and time again by texting and talking on the phone to anyone who contacts us?

 I read something Steve Cooper wrote (in a “Huffington Post” article) that it’s not difficult to imagine and agree with, concerning this issue. He pointed out that, “The relationship of technology and marriage has a long history. Probably at some point during the Stone Age a woman was frustrated because her mate wouldn’t step away from the fire and come to bed. [It was the glow that attracted him.] More recently, televisions became places of congregation for couples and families. Today, our unions are intertwined with smartphones, tablets, social networks and more. The current tech du jour is Facebook and Twitter. The questions we have to ask is, are these ‘tools’ good for marriages or bad? The answer: potentially both.”

 Now, we’re not going to go into the “good and bad” of these tools in this Marriage Message. Many of us are aware of them. But unfortunately, too many spouses allow the “bad” to invade their lives and their marriage relationships.

 We can’t say strongly enough… please BE PRESENT when you’re out and about in public places. I’ve had GREAT conversations with people in grocery store lines and public places when they weren’t gabbing on their phones, or perusing the Internet or texting someone. It’s amazing the ministry opportunities that can be had when we’re present and attentive. We miss those opportunities to give God the elbowroom to minister through us and to us when we’re caught up in our digitally invasive devices.

 And Steve and I have had GREAT conversations as husband and wife when we’re out in public or off somewhere away from our “normal” home life. But if one of us is on the phone or a mobile device, that opportunity is cut off and sabotaged.

Electronic devices can become addictive if you aren’t careful. Time spent with technology and other “necessary” interruptions can grow into something you HAVE to do and time spent with your spouse is shoved into the background IF you can make the time.

So, what is the best way to battle a digital addiction?” Ask your spouse what they think of your digital use. They know your digital habits probably better than anyone else. I encourage you to take a ‘digital fast’ together once a week or once a month [This means turning them OFF for a mutually agreed upon amount of time]. Fasting will reveal what you are most addicted to. Start praying together today as a couple about becoming better stewards of your digital technology. Don’t waste your real life on a virtual life.” (Dr Sylvia Hart Frejd, from the book, ‘The Digital Invasion, How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationship” –a book we HIGHLY recommend you read). 

Please make it your mission to be with your spouse when you have both purposed to do so. Don’t let the tyranny of the urgent, and curiosity, as far as checking your mobile devices, invade and interrupt the precious time you intentionally set aside for each other.

You DO set aside “intentional time” for each other, don’t you? If not, today is a good day to start making that happen –just as you did before you married. Make sure you are PRESENT with your spouse in every way you can and in every way you should make it happen, so your relationship grows to Reveal and Reflect the Love of Christ.

This article was forwarded to me by EZE OHAJUNWA, source is unknown.

I couldn’t resist the urge to share because most of us are guilty. Time to make amends.  Let me know what you thoughts are on this.